CATBALOGAN CITY-Oftentimes we fear what we do not know and what is yet to come. Fear consumes us that in the end, we are left with poor choices.
For Remy, it was also fear that forced her to stay in an abusive relationship. She was afraid that she might not be able to raise her children alone.
She feared that her children might blame her for having a broken family. She was afraid to live a life without her husband.
“I never expected that there will come a time that I will be a battered wife,” she said.
“For how many years I have been patient and forgiving for the benefit of my children. I’ve hidden all the signs of emotional and psychological abuse by smiling and pretending to be happy,” Remy added.
She knew that it was wrong but she never had the courage to fight.
Then came the physical abuse. “I cannot do the same for physical abuse. I cannot hide the bruises in my body.”
It was until she had a realization that she does not need to be in a life-threatening situation to stop domestic violence. She recalled the instance she knew that something has to be done.
“I realized that it is wrong. It is wrong that you will allow yourself to be abused. We deserve to be respected and we deserve to live freely, happily and safely. What will become of my children, they too draw strength from me.”
“I did not wait for the time that my life is on 50-50 before I take action. Life is short there is no bonus life, no extension, no unlimited life. When you die, there’s no way for you to actually live life. It’s a waste when I can still be productive and touch other lives,” she recounted.
She sought the help of City Social Welfare and Development Office and other organizations. Eventually, she had psychotherapy.
“I am thankful that there are people and institutions that influenced me and made me realized that it is not right to be always forgiving. Forgiving is good but not to the point that you are being abused,”she shared.
Remy is a master teacher at an elementary school in Catbalogan City. She was married to her husband for 24 years and for the most part of the first 15 years, she endured the physical, emotional and psychological abuse. Now she is legally separated for nine years and has been living a VAW (violence against women) -free life.
“I am very thankful that I have already moved on. I declare that I am a VAW survivor. I am healed,” she said.
During the 18-Day Campaign to End Violence Against Women, Remy shared her experience and encouraged other women not to tolerate abuse.
Finally, she said, “I am very thankful that I have already moved on. I declare that I am a VAW survivor, I am healed.”