While sometimes deemed a necessary solution, divorce or separation often carries with it an undeniable heaviness, marked by a multitude of emotional consequences for all parties involved. Yes, there’s a great impact of parting ways, given the inherent sadness that accompanies such a life-altering decision. It affects not only individuals directly involved but also society at large.

Foremost, it brings about a sense of personal loss and grief. The dissolution of a marriage or partnership signifies the death of shared dreams, and unfulfilled aspirations, and the end of a once-chosen path. If only we can grasp the depth of sadness experienced by individuals, as they navigate through the stages of grief, mourning what could have been and what is forever lost. This emotional burden can lead to feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, depression, and even a decline in mental and physical health.

It also has an impact on an individual’s sense of identity. Shared memories, routines, and roles within the relationship are abruptly shattered, leaving a void difficult to fill. Navigating through this identity crisis can be especially trying. The sadness stemming from the loss of one’s identity as a partner, spouse, or parent can lead to a period of questioning and profound self-doubt, impeding personal growth and hindering future relationships.

Separation often results in new financial arrangements and responsibilities, leading to increased stress and uncertainty. Financial stability is crucial for individuals to regain a sense of security and rebuild their lives post-divorce. However, the aftermath of separation inevitably involves the division of assets, potential loss of income, and the added burden of managing individual finances. This financial strain, coupled with the emotional turmoil, can amplify the sadness experienced during divorce or separation.

One of its saddest consequences is its traumatic impact on children. Witnessing their parents’ separation generates feelings of confusion, sadness, and vulnerability among children. The emotional distress experienced by children can have long-lasting effects on their overall well-being and future relationships. The lingering sadness that accompanies a disrupted family unit can impede their emotional development and hinder their ability to form trusting relationships in the future.

This often leads to the disintegration of shared friendships and social networks. Family and mutual friends may feel compelled to choose sides, exacerbating the sense of isolation and abandonment experienced by the divorcing or separating individuals. We have yet to grasp the significance of this loss of social support and the subsequent sadness that can arise from this perceived abandonment, as it affects individuals’ mental health and impedes their ability to heal.

Sometimes, it also involves legal proceedings and lengthy court battles, a process that further intensifies the sadness experienced by those involved. The emotional toll of appearing in court, the financial implications of legal proceedings, and the extended period of unrest can be highly distressing. The overwhelming sadness and frustration stemming from these legal battles often hinder the progress of emotional healing and the ability to move forward toward a healthier and happier future.

The complexity of the emotional consequences highlights the need for the involved parties to comprehend the aspects of this challenging process. By acknowledging the immense personal loss, disrupted identity, financial insecurity, impact on children, loss of social support, and arduous legal battles, proactive interventions and support systems can be pursued to alleviate the sadness associated with divorce or separation, leading to healthier healing and eventual reemergence.

These are rainy days and we do not know how many people are well prepared for it this new year. We have seen the devastation of many farms that were hit by the floods. The destruction of crops will surely affect food supply in the next few months. We cannot expect too much come harvest time as many of our plants, especially rice which is our staple food, had been washed by the heavy rains and floods. There still will be harvest time no matter what, but the produce of our farms will surely be lean as plants were inundated. Rice that already started bearing healthy grains were suddenly washed out by the floods.

If these are lean months where the supply of rice is low, causing prices of our staple food to rise almost on a daily basis, much more crisis is coming in the aftermath of the torrential rains. People must face the reality of an impending food shortage due mainly to the destruction of many plants, rice above all. But with the current crisis we are in, it is quite difficult for many people to save enough for the leaner months that is sure to come. While we can foresee the effects of the flood that hit the region, many will be unable to find means to prepare for such impending shortages in the supply of food and other basic needs.

We truly need to revive the basic lessons demonstrated by ants, that small creature that shows unparalleled industry and diligence in gathering enough stocks for the rainy days. It is truly unfortunate that we tend to conveniently forget such lessons, setting on a happy-go-lucky lifestyle, if not total laziness to gather enough for the occurrence of rainy days. We have so much time to produce the basic needs we need during better times of the year. Unfortunately, we prefer to enjoy the times of bountiful harvest without saving enough for the days when we cannot earn due to the rains.

It is sometimes awesome to observe our penchant to just keep singing in the rain. We tend to enjoy the moment by spending instead of saving every extra penny from our hard-earned money. This is evident in the proliferation of machines that our people love to croon to while away their time in the guise of leisure after work. We are caught with our inclination to be happy by our manifest preference for the videoke that eats money than buying tools of trade that produces money. These are fundamental reasons why we often fell yawning with empty bellies during rainy days when we are inundated.
comments to alellema@yahoo.com

THIS is how self-righteousness is developed. When we would just depend on our own ideas about what is true, good and beautiful, independently of God, there is no way but for us to fall into this trap of self-righteousness which is always marked with rigidity, proneness to rash judgments, critical thoughts, bitter zeal, etc. It would be a pursuit of the good without charity and mercy.

We are reminded of this danger in that gospel episode where Christ’s disciples were accused by the self-righteous Pharisees of eating with unwashed hands. (cfr. Mk 7,1-13) That was when Christ told them:

“Well did Isaiah prophesy about you hypocrites, as it is written: This people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines human precepts. You disregard God’s commandment but cling to human tradition.”

Self-righteousness is a common disease, since all of us have our share of pride and arrogance. We may not acknowledge it—a more insidious situation to be in, since pride has a tremendous blinding power—but we can fall into it from time to time, especially when we make rash judgments, easily jump to conclusions, stereotype or brand people, making a habit of finding fault in others, etc.

What is worse is when it is not only quiet and secretive, but rather open and loud, and can get even physical, or when it defines the very character of a person. It is shown in the way he carries himself, how he looks at others, how he speaks and reacts to things. He oozes with over-self-confidence, with a tone of voice that cannot be other than bossy and strident.

That’s when we can speak of the self-righteous bully. He gives the impression that he knows everything, that he is superior to others, etc. He is usually one who is gifted in some way—physically, intellectually or, worse, spiritually.

The source of their problem are the gifts given to them, which they do not know how to handle properly. Instead of being humbled by them and always aware that the gifts are meant for God’s glory and the good of others, they make these endowments a source of their pride. They are highly opinionated. They like to dominate any discussion. They want always to have the last word.

We have to be most careful of this spiritual virus. The moment we see the slightest signs of its onset in us, we have to react immediately and strongly, deepening our humility and strengthening our desire to always glorify God and to be at the service of others.

We should reflect the attitude of Christ who said that “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mt 20,28) We have to learn how to pass unnoticed even as we are determined in carrying out our tasks and duties in life.

The awareness of our gifts or special charisms should also intensify the awareness of the great responsibility we have to fulfill because of them. Because of this, we should always feel the need to go to God, convinced that it can only be with him that we can do things properly. We should never think we can simply rely on our own powers.